Funny Status Ideas

I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti, and a future archeologist will have one awesome day at work.

I'm thinking about bottling my own urine and selling it. I'll call it "I Can't Believe It's Not Bud Light."

Thanks to the Statue of Liberty there's at least a dozen French dudes who's greatest life achievement was making a giant copper toenail.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.

If Bilbo's parents had any sense of humor they would have named him Tea.

Sometimes I like to imagine the Grammar Police are real and they're chasing you with handcuffs and a fully-charged taser.

I'd tell my boss to go screw himself but he would probably just delegate that to me also.