Funny Status Ideas

Married people with children do not have "sex", they have "quick, they're asleep!".

The heaviest thing at the gym tonight was the irony of Chris Brown blaring during the women's kickboxing class.

I don't care what it's about, Parent Trap is a horror movie because there's two Lindsay Lohans.

If you're spending $10 on a single meal at Burger King, it might be time to step back and reevaluate your life.

Voldemort: the original loser of the "got your nose" game.

I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?'

I hope there is a god and his actually name is Gosh so all those people trying not to swear go straight to heck when they die.