Funny Status Ideas

I don't care what it's about, Parent Trap is a horror movie because there's two Lindsay Lohans.

If you're spending $10 on a single meal at Burger King, it might be time to step back and reevaluate your life.

Voldemort: the original loser of the "got your nose" game.

I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?'

I hope there is a god and his actually name is Gosh so all those people trying not to swear go straight to heck when they die.

I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti, and a future archeologist will have one awesome day at work.

I'm thinking about bottling my own urine and selling it. I'll call it "I Can't Believe It's Not Bud Light."