Funny Status Ideas

What's the point of going into space if you're just going to turn around and come back? Did the kids act up?

When I say "word to the wise", what I really mean is "word to the stupid."

When sitting, aren't we all on crack?

Kinda bummed there's no all-transvestite social networking site called Dragnet.

I have a feeling my big break is gonna involve a bone.

I have a horrible sleeping disorder where I have to wake up every morning and go to work.

I wish I could autocorrect my life.