Funny Status Ideas

‪I got a job at Comcast and completed training so I could fix my own cable because it was faster than being on hold with customer service. ‬

In Florida we get "I'm still voting" stickers.

If farmer A sells apples, farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell? Medicine

And in other news, a terrorist attack has blown away two houses - one made of straw and the other made of wood. Police think that it's probably a lone wolf.

A yawn is a silent scream for coffee

Maybe dogs think that "good boy/good girl" is just a command to act happy and they're just being obedient.

Had a crazy dream last night that I was being chased through the woods by squirrels until I suddenly woke up and realized I must be a nut.