Funny Status Ideas

When sitting, aren't we all on crack?

Kinda bummed there's no all-transvestite social networking site called Dragnet.

I have a feeling my big break is gonna involve a bone.

I have a horrible sleeping disorder where I have to wake up every morning and go to work.

I wish I could autocorrect my life.

I hope they sell snow globe urns for my ashes when I die.

Disregard all the people in your life with a pitiful 5 senses. It's the people with 6 that you need to keep. The ones with a sense of humour