Funny Status Ideas

The "Terms and Conditions" could hold the cure to cancer, but nobody would know, because we never read it!

Sure, beep at me when my car breaks down. The horn might transform me into a magical unicorn that hauls it away.

It's strange that Kermit was the Muppet who sang "It ain't easy being green" and not Oscar, the filthy homeless one.

I tried to be a magician once, but kept screwing up that trick where you cut the rabbit in half. I sell keychains now.

"Who?" - Dyslexic Indian <br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"How?" - Dyslexic Owl

What's the point of going into space if you're just going to turn around and come back? Did the kids act up?

When I say "word to the wise", what I really mean is "word to the stupid."