Funny Status Ideas

When god closes the door he opens a window. when my boss closes the door I crap my pants.

I don't have psychotic episodes. They're more like a miniseries.

Hey Alanis Morissette! Getting a girl pregnant on a "pull-out" couch. That's IRONIC.

My family's Coat of Arms ties at the back.

I was way off. Turns out the movie Aliens vs Predator isn't about an illegal immigrant fighting a child molester.

C'mon Pac-Man, make her a Mrs. already!

I tried to bring sexy back, but I didn't have a receipt.