Funny Status Ideas

To do list: Buy CD of ice cream truck music. Drive down the street blasting it. Watch kids get disappointed.

Sometimes I go bow hunting with my uncle and when we find two good ones we put my hair in pigtails.

If a girl's bra is called over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, then what are a boy's boxers called? Under the butt-nut-hut?

An ad begs me to try "the toothbrush most dental professionals use" and I think, "That's gross; I'll buy my own."

Some fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..." Others begin with "If elected, I promise..."

I know there are plenty of fish in the sea, but how did I end up on the catch and release list?

I've always been a big supporter of gay marriage. I mean, who wants to go to a sad wedding?