Funny Status Ideas

If a girl's bra is called over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, then what are a boy's boxers called? Under the butt-nut-hut?

An ad begs me to try "the toothbrush most dental professionals use" and I think, "That's gross; I'll buy my own."

Some fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..." Others begin with "If elected, I promise..."

I know there are plenty of fish in the sea, but how did I end up on the catch and release list?

I've always been a big supporter of gay marriage. I mean, who wants to go to a sad wedding?

When god closes the door he opens a window. when my boss closes the door I crap my pants.

I don't have psychotic episodes. They're more like a miniseries.