Funny Status Ideas

My boyfriend got really excited when I brought handcuffs into the bedroom but after 3 weeks shackled to the bedpost the novelty has faded.

I bet a lot of people die when there's a fire in China. They don't exactly have the best drill.

They only call them yoga pants because watch netflix instant and eat leftovers pants was too long

I'm an exceptional mother of 1. Too bad I have 3.

Hate mopping? Get a dog and sprinkle parmesan cheese on your floors.

To do list: Buy CD of ice cream truck music. Drive down the street blasting it. Watch kids get disappointed.

Sometimes I go bow hunting with my uncle and when we find two good ones we put my hair in pigtails.