Funny Status Ideas

I'm surprised that women would actually want to box...If my wife boxed.....Announcer: "In this corner weighing...None of your business...."

Sure she's a trophy wife. It's just one of those tiny trophies that say "participant"

It's hard napping at your desk when you have night terrors. I had to pretend I was screaming about Adobe updates.

You can blame absolutely everything on your parents. It's either genetics, or how they raised you.

Sometimes i feel sorry for God.... He's a single parent and all his children are jerks who think they know it all.

Since M. Night Shyamalan's all about movies that end with a twist, he should just make a movie that viewers enjoy.

An autobiography without punctuation is a life sentence