Funny Status Ideas

I want to date a bellboy cos I need a guy who's used to lugging around heavy baggage.

If you stole a cigarette from your dad and he made you smoke a whole pack while he watched, I hope he never caught you stealing a playboy.

Tomorrow I'm calling a guy who interviewed me 5 years ago asking where I saw myself in 5 years to let him know that I was wrong.

When men don't shave for a while it's rugged and masculine. When women don't shave for a while it's rugged and masculine.

If you watch an Apple store get robbed, are you an iWitness?

I've heard of women that aren't crazy, but I've also heard of unicorns.

Why do people say grow some balls? Balls are weak and vulnerable, if you want to toughen up grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.