Funny Status Ideas

Society needs both optimists and pessimists. For example, an optimist invented the airplane while a pessimist invented the parachute.

I fell asleep at the wheel last weekend. My pottery was ruined.

It's taken me awhile, but I think I'm finally ready to accept that it's not butter.

Does running away from your problems count as exercising?

I wish smelly people in real life had a dust cloud around them like Pigpen from "Peanuts".

I was told to wear loose fitting clothes to my exercise class. If I had loose fitting clothes, I wouldn't need the exercise class.

"You've gotten so big since I last saw you!" A good line to use on children. Less appropriate for your friend with the thyroid problem.