Funny Status Ideas

I wish there was a way to turn bad books back into trees.

Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

If I were a shepherd, I would never take inventory of my flock for fear of falling asleep on the job.

I don't mind when older folks decide to relax and slow down. I just wish they wouldn't do it in their cars.

My farts don't stink & are silent... So! I went to see a doc, Long story short, I've got a hearing & sinus problem.

Society needs both optimists and pessimists. For example, an optimist invented the airplane while a pessimist invented the parachute.

I fell asleep at the wheel last weekend. My pottery was ruined.