Funny Status Ideas

If you could watch my life backwards, you'd see a Jenny Craig success story.

Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it.

It should be a law that you have to leave a note on the waffle box if you use the last of the syrup..

I see debt people.

Occasionally I email an ex "GET TESTED!" They get all mad, but the LSAT deadline is coming up.

Whenever a bird poops on my car I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch just to let them know what I'm capable of.

Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission. — Ralph Waldo Emerson