Funny Status Ideas

Hey Jack, Jumping over a candlestick isn't all that impressive. The cow jumped over the freaking moon.

I'd hate to be working at a drive-thru at all, but even more if I had to take an order from Eddie Vedder.

I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes.

So, in America it's called 'Cotton Candy' and in Britain it's called 'Candy Floss'... guys, I think I've found the reason for the bad teeth.

Life is what you make of it, and I plan to make fun of it.

Anyone else find it ironic that they stopped making NeverEnding Story movies, but there's no end in sight for Final Destination movies?

Why are 2 of the 3 judges on "America's Got Talent" British? Has America got no judging talent?