Funny Status Ideas

There is NO WAY that Bert and Ernie are gay. They haven't changed their outfits in 25 years.

If tomatoes are fruit, isn't ketchup technically a smoothie?

Let's be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy doesn't think he's the most interesting man in the world?

The maintenance dude has no teeth. Aren't those easier to maintain than a whole building?

Reading a magazine waiting at the checkout and was told, “this is not a library”, so I read it out loud.

I've met too many people to still call it "common sense."

Dear Sharks: You may get your own week on TV, but house cats get their own eternity on the internet.