Funny Status Ideas

Let's be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy doesn't think he's the most interesting man in the world?

The maintenance dude has no teeth. Aren't those easier to maintain than a whole building?

Reading a magazine waiting at the checkout and was told, “this is not a library”, so I read it out loud.

I've met too many people to still call it "common sense."

Dear Sharks: You may get your own week on TV, but house cats get their own eternity on the internet.

I may look calm but in my head I've killed you more than three times.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.