Funny Status Ideas

Actions speak louder than words but no one understood my interpretive dance and I had to get the salt shaker myself.

Dear radio stations, instead of 40 minutes of commercial free music, how about 5 minutes of good music?

Autocorrect can kiss my ask!

It's difficult to have a committed relationship with a schizophrenic. They're always seeing other people.

I want to be treated like a queen. Just not Marie Antoinette.

Shouldn't cow udders be called moobs?

I bet if Bigfoot and Waldo ever tried to play hide-and-seek, the world would explode.