Funny Status Ideas

If you love something, let it go...out with the guys once in a while.

If anyone thinks Ramen noodles and Ritz crackers constitute a meal, then yeah, I'm totally a chef.

Smokey the Bear says that only you can prevent forest fires. Don't know which one of you he's talking to, but your doing a crappy job so far

What kind of sick bastard figured out that you can make a cake out of carrots?

My main job as a husband is to taste things that my wife thinks taste like they've gone bad and tell her if they taste bad.

Thinking about moving to London so my other arm will get a tan too.

Having one child makes you a parent. Having two makes you a referee.