Funny Status Ideas

I only get to see her Oh No! face.

If I worked at a pizza place I would use pepperoni to spell out "Marry me?" on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples.

Those Blue Man guys need to find women. I didn’t realize it could spread like that.

I don't answer unexpected knocks on the door in case it's the beginning of a very polite Zombie Apocalypse.

Thank God for women. If it wasn't for them, us men wouldn't know that we do everything wrong.

When I see people with big spaces in their teeth I think of all the different things they could stick between them.

I did nothing again today because I didn’t finish doing it yesterday.