Funny Status Ideas

Those Blue Man guys need to find women. I didn’t realize it could spread like that.

I don't answer unexpected knocks on the door in case it's the beginning of a very polite Zombie Apocalypse.

Thank God for women. If it wasn't for them, us men wouldn't know that we do everything wrong.

When I see people with big spaces in their teeth I think of all the different things they could stick between them.

I did nothing again today because I didn’t finish doing it yesterday.

If you love something, let it go...out with the guys once in a while.

If anyone thinks Ramen noodles and Ritz crackers constitute a meal, then yeah, I'm totally a chef.