Funny Status Ideas

My life coach advised me to run out the clock.

Girls are like trees, they hate axe.

I think guys that wear Speedos should have to wear the bikini top too.

That's weird. I just bought the "Best of Limp Bizkit" CD and it's blank.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, a hipster will buy the soundtrack.

I only get to see her Oh No! face.

If I worked at a pizza place I would use pepperoni to spell out "Marry me?" on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples.