Funny Status Ideas

Nothing makes me feel quite like an idiot than when I find myself trying to highlight and copy text from a JPG.

Every time I hear Kenny G playing at CVS it's non-consensual sax.

You know you’re in America when you can buy replacement cartridges of ink for $29.25, or buy a brand new printer with ink for $39.95.

Quentin Tarantino's face looks like he's constantly trying to figure out who farted.

Math questions are so stupid! They're like "If I have 30 chocolate bars and I eat 29, what do I have?" Oh I dunno, diabetes maybe?!

So Abercrombie will pay The Situation NOT to wear their clothes? I don't wear A&F for free; I'm entirely open to being paid for that.

I need to do laundry so bad I'm actually wearing the Christmas stockings.