Funny Status Ideas

I'm going to invent a GPS for kids that says, "We're not there yet", "We're not there yet", "We're not there yet"...

Judging by the disproportionate size of Popeye's forearms, I'm guessing Olive Oyl didn't put out much.

Bears vs Giants would be freaking crazy if it was a Discovery channel show instead of an NFL game.

Scientists are developing a drug to counteract diseases associated with obesity. No name yet, but my suggestion would be, "A Salad."

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

I really shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.

If 3 people having sex is a threesome, and 2 people at it is a twosome, why is Handsome still a compliment?