Funny Status Ideas

It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.

If you love something set it free, if you hate something set it on fire.

Would it be considered ironic that "camo" print actually makes rednecks stand out in society?

If I ever have kids, I'll tell them the Tooth Fairy is a mail-in operation, and then pretend to get angry when the check never arrives.

Ugh the wifi is so slow today! It's so frustrating! My neighbor should really do something about this!

After the third time he yelled "IT'S A TRAP" to a girl at the bar it became abundantly clear that Admiral Akbar was an awful wing man.

I'm at a fancy posh restaurant in Los Angeles and this waiter is trying to tuck my napkin down my pants. GOD I HOPE HE'S A WAITER!