Funny Status Ideas

Bears vs Giants would be freaking crazy if it was a Discovery channel show instead of an NFL game.

Scientists are developing a drug to counteract diseases associated with obesity. No name yet, but my suggestion would be, "A Salad."

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

I really shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.

If 3 people having sex is a threesome, and 2 people at it is a twosome, why is Handsome still a compliment?

Nothing makes me feel quite like an idiot than when I find myself trying to highlight and copy text from a JPG.

Every time I hear Kenny G playing at CVS it's non-consensual sax.