Funny Status Ideas

Would a protest to legalize marijuana be a March of Dimebags?

I don’t care what my former employers say, at least all my eBay feedback is positive.

So weird how, when you honk as soon as the light turns green, I can't seem to find the gas pedal.

If I open a Laser hair removal office but can't strap women down and re-enact the Bond scene from Goldfinger, then what's the point really?

Facebook: where English goes to die.

Women say that men have it easy because we never experience childbirth. How the hell do they think we got here?

If you think your cat loves you, just remember it would probably yawn and fall asleep while watching you get murdered with a rake.