Funny Status Ideas

You say "restraining order", I say "long distance relationship."

You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.

Whoever said time heals all wounds never had their leg bitten off by a shark.

I'm holding out hope that one day an email marked "FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: MUST READ!" will, in fact, be a must read.

Just past my English exam.

If you hear me say, "mahna mahna" and don't respond with "Doo DOO, doo DOO doo," you suck at life.

It didn't bother me when my parents told me I was a mistake until they also told me that I was adopted.