Funny Status Ideas

Watching CNN. If you don't have varicose veins, hemorrhoids or excessive body hair, there's really no need to watch the commercials.

"And now for something completely different." - Monty Python or any politician answering a question they don't like.

It's never good when my cat thinks outside the box.

sick ob auto correct fiking up my tweets, terned it off.

We'll be attending the National Schizophrenic's Convention. Anybody who's everybody will be there.

I had an ant farm once..... Those guys didn't grow anything...

The entrance exam for being a surgeon should be picking up a crouton with a fork without breaking it.