Funny Status Ideas

Chinese take out owner Sum Ting So Wong was planning on making a surprise dinner for his girlfriend only someone let the cat out of the bag.

Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining.

So, 70% of our bodies are water. We drink water. We love to shower and swim. But if water falls from the sky, HOLY CRAP RUN AWAY!

Pro tip: When your girl is talking, pay attention. For god's sake, you know there will be a test in the future.

I consider the word Dodge on the front of my truck fair warning to jaywalkers.

I think it's time I came out the closet! Looks like I've won this game of hide & seek.

I'm developing a new show called Moron Jeopardy in which contestants have to answer questions in the form of Yahoo! Answers.