Funny Status Ideas

So, 70% of our bodies are water. We drink water. We love to shower and swim. But if water falls from the sky, HOLY CRAP RUN AWAY!

Pro tip: When your girl is talking, pay attention. For god's sake, you know there will be a test in the future.

I consider the word Dodge on the front of my truck fair warning to jaywalkers.

I think it's time I came out the closet! Looks like I've won this game of hide & seek.

I'm developing a new show called Moron Jeopardy in which contestants have to answer questions in the form of Yahoo! Answers.

Watching CNN. If you don't have varicose veins, hemorrhoids or excessive body hair, there's really no need to watch the commercials.

"And now for something completely different." - Monty Python or any politician answering a question they don't like.