Funny Status Ideas

My Masseuse just read 'Cinderella' to me ~ That's the last time I ask for a happy ending.

Today I saw a baby with a bib that said "This dumbass put my cape on backwards."

Here's a love poem, it's called, "Are You Getting Prettier or Am I Just Lowering My Standards?"

Al Qaeda's second-in-command has been killed in Pakistan. This guy dies more often than the world’s oldest person.

I just saw a stripper's baby with a caterpillar tattoo on its lower back.

Chinese take out owner Sum Ting So Wong was planning on making a surprise dinner for his girlfriend only someone let the cat out of the bag.

Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining.