Funny Status Ideas

Hey, wanna hear a joke about Nirvana? No? Nevermind.

There are starving kids in Africa. IHOP has a "Kids Eat Free" promotion. Just build an IHOP in Africa. Problem solved.

Whenever I eat refried beans I think about how the guy who fried them first must have done a crappy job.

They can probably ditch the "Insane" part, as it's pretty much implied in the concept of a posse made entirely of clowns.

Baby snakes probably throw a lot of hissy fits.

Good news is my daughter paid back the $3000 she owed me. The bad news is she gave it to me in singles that smell like whiskey & cigarettes.

To prepare her for real life I make my daughter pretend to tweet on a toy phone when she's taking a crap.