Funny Status Ideas

There were so many substance abusers at last night's VMAs that Dr. Drew taped an entire season of "Celebrity Rehab" from the audience.

Go ahead and name your daughter Kirsten. We'll switch the i and r in our minds anyway.

When I was a kid the worst thing you could say to another kid was "YOUR MOM!". I still use it, but only on my kids.

A siamese twin fight: I'd pay to see that.

Congrats to Jay Z on his 100th problem.

First time I ever saw a dry-erase board I said "that's remarkable."

Just curious, does the room spin in the opposite direction when you drink too much in South Africa?