Funny Status Ideas

I’m going to write a modern Christmas song called “baby is cold outside” it’s the story of a woman arguing with her husband about the thermostat

Gunpowder is just angry sand.

For a song about the piano man, the harmonica man won't shut up.

I have all the world's knowledge at the very tips of my fingers where I can find the answers to life's most perplexing questions! and here I am googling "What did Oscar the Grouch do if he overslept on trash day?"

Since Facebook claims ownership of everything you post on their website I think I should start uploading my bills.

A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom just means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer

I always Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed Jingler.