Funny Status Ideas

I don’t think I have a problem!” is the only response to anyone suggesting you might have one.

I'd be calmer defusing a bomb after four Red Bulls than watching my parents use my laptop.

Political candidates should be made to wear NASCAR suits so we can tell who their sponsors are.

I think I might be an amazing pro baseball player stuck in the body of a chubby Internet dork.

You're having a bad day when the playful and happy phrase; "Pull my finger," is followed by the horrified shriek; "Oh my god, get a towel!"

Remember that being called weird is like being called Limited Edition. Meaning you're something people don't see that often.

At the dentist and they've left me all alone. They've also gotten really good at hiding the nitrous. :(