Funny Status Ideas

How do deaf people know if someone is screaming or yawning?

The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self control that is required?

If you define "mad" as lacking reason and appearing somewhat deranged then yes, I have "mad" flirting skills.

Sitting at a wake and really wishing I had taken ventriloquism lessons at some point in life.

Believe me, I HATE littering. But I do it anyway because I might be providing a Hermit Crab his dream home.

Do NFL players have "fantasy office worker leagues"?

Fact: Heat makes objects expand. So there you have it, I'm not overweight, I'm just overheated.