Funny Status Ideas

The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, & nobody else thinks they're jokes.

To watch a reality show about a restaurant is to realize how much chef's head-sweat you've eaten in your life.

This is the first lie I have ever told.

The Dr. wanted a mid-stream urine sample. I never imagined there could be layers.

Don’t run from the police, you’ll just go to jail tired.

When describing any part of your wife's body, the word 'freakishly' is never, ever appropriate. Apparently.

Who came up with the design for a Twinkie? Why a flesh-colored tube with white cream inside?