Funny Status Ideas

Car commercials make driving around in empty parking structures look fun and normal and not suspicious or kidnappy.

When you compliment a woman, never end the sentence with "today." They'll turn that around on you. "So I don't look good EVERY day?"

I leave the subject line blank on my e-mails because I know I can’t stay on topic.

They should change the name of "Disney Channel" to "Celebrity Pre-Rehab".

Any machine is a smoke machine if you just use it wrong enough.

The only other thing more popular than Facebook's "Like" button is MySpace's "Delete Account" button.

Dear clever comeback, could you come BEFORE the argument is over.