Funny Status Ideas

A stupid driver cancels out a smart car.

I want to make a "Girls of Twitter" calendar but sadly most of them would most likely be men. :(

Nothing boosts my self esteem more than being around people who think they're better than me.

The only reason I have sunglasses is so that I can put them on after I say something awesome.

If you can read this, thank a teacher! If you can do busy work for an hour or watch a weird, unrelated video, thank a substitute teacher!

I like to leave piles of sawdust on playgrounds with a note that just says "Pinocchio."

I don't do a lot of good deeds, but when I walk past a well, I always stop and make sure there's not a kid stuck down there.