Funny Status Ideas

So do we all have the same automatic spell checker? Or am I his only Facebook friend?

Clark Kent would be identified as Superman pretty fast if he ever accidentally pushed a pull door.

A handshake means something completely different to a cannibal.

When I was a kid I used to have an imaginary friend, but now thanks to Facebook and I have hundreds of them!

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.

My doctor prescribed me a nasal steroid. Now everything has a strong smell.