Funny Status Ideas

How did the hipster burn his lip? He ate some pizza before it was cool.

Don't get so puffed up when someone calls you a pillar of the community...so was Lot's wife.

The last time someone told me I looked hot it was 102 degrees outside.

Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.

As most students head back to school, this seems like the right time to point out that the anagram of dormitory is dirty room.

Did you know that people insecure in their writing abilities use an inordinate amount of exclamation points? It’s true!!!!!

I wonder if bugs ever feel like things are crawling on them.