Funny Status Ideas

Two questions. Why was she making milkshakes in the yard, and was there not a Dairy Queen in their town?

What do the symbols on bathroom doors look like in Scotland? Stick figure wear kilts for men, longer kilts for the ladies?

My grandfather was ½ Cherokee. When he danced, it just got really cloudy...

It's a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.

Went to get checked for a hernia and the doctor told me to quit smoking. He told me to cough, so I did, for 2 1/2 minutes.

A stupid driver cancels out a smart car.

I want to make a "Girls of Twitter" calendar but sadly most of them would most likely be men. :(