Funny Status Ideas

Please, everyone, listen to the first 30 seconds of Ke$ha's 'Blah Blah Blah' then lower your head in a moment of silence for my generation.

My mother in law asked me to join her LinkedIn network, which pretty much means I have to stay away from the entire internet for the rest of my life.

With all the technology today, how is it possible that the "mullets make you look like a total tool" message has not made it to all people?

I'm gonna offer my boss some of my Top Ramen everyday until he feels sorry for me and gives me a raise.

The world's most masculine conversations are by two men holding expensive purses while their women are shopping.

Just saw an old pic of my pregnant mom standing by a microwave with a cigarette in one hand & a beer in the other. Which explains EVERYTHING!

Next time you think you're not cool enough, think about how "cool" grandmas are gonna look with "tramp stamps" down the road.