Funny Status Ideas

Johnny Depp gets 15 million dollars for being with a nut job. And all these years I've been doing it for free!

When I'm in a good mood I act like I'm I'm in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.

I don't think it's fair that only roosters are allowed to start the day screaming.

Mansplaining is a correctile dysfunction.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last night is now fully recovered.

Johnny Depp is the one guy that could've used an amber alert.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.