Funny Status Ideas

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside. I have like 50 wooden balls...

I love the phrase "bear with me" because it either means "be patient" or "the zoo heist was a success"

In three years we went from not being able to find toilet paper to not being able to afford it.

I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together.

Due to inflation, you may now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 8.9 seconds.

I keep saying Alexa when I mean to say Siri and I just cant believe that I live in a time where i am getting my servant robots' names mixed up.

I’m getting stronger with age. I can now lift $100 worth of groceries with one hand