Funny Status Ideas

I don’t need to watch the news to tell me how hard it’s going to snow, as I can always tell by how many loaves of bread are left on the shelf at the supermarket.
#17863
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Xyuppi
Someone threw a jar of Mayonnaise at me! I was like, What the Hellman!?
It's so cold, there's a line of chickens outside of KFC asking to use the deep fryer
#17861
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Xyuppi
If you get locked out! Talk to the lock calmly. Communication is the key
#17860
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Florida
I'm at the age where my mind firmly believes I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12, and my body died in the Civil War.
#17859
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Xyuppi
Australia’s biggest EXPORT are boomerangs, incidentally it is their biggest IMPORT too
#17858
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Florida
Walmart has announced that they will be closed Thanksgiving day so that all the self checkout people can be home with their families
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    Xyuppi
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