Funny Status Ideas

If you get locked out! Talk to the lock calmly. Communication is the key

I'm at the age where my mind firmly believes I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12, and my body died in the Civil War.

Australia’s biggest EXPORT are boomerangs, incidentally it is their biggest IMPORT too

Walmart has announced that they will be closed Thanksgiving day so that all the self checkout people can be home with their families

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside. I have like 50 wooden balls...

I love the phrase "bear with me" because it either means "be patient" or "the zoo heist was a success"

In three years we went from not being able to find toilet paper to not being able to afford it.