Xyuppi
Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence?...... There's one marked "Brightness" but it doesn't work.
Swiss army knives are only like 8% knife.
Some of us live thousands of miles away from the majority of our relatives and can't be with them for the holidays. But don't be jealous.
How can they have a Facebook group called Facebookers Anonymous? That's like trying to hold a successful AA meeting in a bar.
Tom
I think the golden rule for men should be, don’t say anything to a woman at work that you wouldn’t want another man to say to you in prison.
Xyuppi
Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
Shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money.