Xyuppi
It's only a matter of time until "Security cameras of Wal-Mart" become a hit reality show.
Xyuppi
The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do dishes.
Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever's password I'm using has got to be pissed!
"Send nudes, not nukes" is the "make love, not war" of this century
[At a spelling bee] Teacher: your word is "forwards" Me: No fair! Everyone else only had to spell one.
Her: I bet he's thinking about other women. Me: Why the hell doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
But in my most troublesome times, I looked down and saw only one set of footprints. I asked the Lord why, and He replied that sand people ride single file to hide their numbers.