Pet stores should post "Chameleon" on empty reptile cages just to see how long people would stand and look.
PizzaDr
Toys R Us is filing for bankruptcy. Four more times and it will qualify them to run for President.
PizzaDr
If you eat doughnuts fast enough your Fitbit thinks you're walking.
If you boil a clown, do you get laughing stock?
If someone says "I'm a sub-par golfer" does that mean they're good at golf, or bad?
Birthdays are like real life leveling up. At first they're an important and celebrated event, but towards the end they become less and less meaningful until they're only a testament to how much time you've spent on the game.
If you want to preview of the new iPhone 8 and try it out for free before buying it just look at your iPhone 7 and pretend it cost several hundred dollars more.