One great thing about life before the internet was if you met someone, you didn't then have to know them the rest of your life.
Sorry, guy outside grocery store with a heavy bag and one arm in a sling, but I can't help you. Ted Bundy ruined that for everyone.
I want the time management skills of people who effortlessly carve out entire hours to be offended by every single thing on the internet.
I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don't know whose side I'm on.
It's Saturday morning. My neighbor has mowed his lawn AND weeded his garden. I've spent ten minutes trying to reach the remote with my foot.
Don't look at the eclipse through a colander. You'll strain your eyes.
A solar eclipse is the cosmic equivalent of the bouncing DVD logo going perfectly into a corner.