They don't say "Get down Mr. President" anymore. Now they just shout, "Donald Duck!"
Traffic jams are more tolerable if you just think of them as really boring parades.
If I was gonna make a bomb, I'd use the same color wire for the whole thing.
Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?
Why is it called a "personal trainer", instead of an "exercist"?
I'm tired of people assuming I've got a good personality because I'm ugly.
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear