Jon
"Wife dragged me to this theater. Somebody shoot me." -Abraham Lincoln's last Tweet.
Never go to bed angry. Stay up all night plotting revenge.
I want my tombstone to say "It didn't make me stronger."
A German Shepherd named Rumor won the Westminster Dog Show. He will now be breed...aka spreading Rumors.
Jon
I hope I never go to jail because I haven't memorized a phone number since 2001
Jon
The human body is roughly 60% water. I'm not fat, I'm flooded.
Hello is this HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.