I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn't follow the script #DamnTeenQuote
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they get up in the morning that's the best they're going to feel all day.
A dry vagina is a sad place to be.
The best vibrator a woman can own is Micheal J Fox.
I hate when one of your tweets in which you made a horrible, inexcusable typo are retweeted. Now everyone knows what an illiterate ass I am.
live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back
When someone says "hey man, its been a while!" I can't help but think "I've been avoiding you, but you're becoming a better finder."